we heart summer.

if lack of blogging indicates the amount of fun we are having this summer then consider ours a success. we've had so much going on that when we do have down time, i find blogging is the last thing on my mind.

with summer's end quickly approaching, i figured it is about time to sit down and fill in this little blog with the missing gaps from the last few months.

the boys and i have been having a blast spending our summer days together. no summer camps, preschool days or vacation school anythings. just me, lane and evan. and we visit papa at lunch almost every day so he isn't left out.

there's been a lot of trips to the pool to try to cool off. a few trips to dq to try to cool off. and lots of busy weekends trying to stay cool.

our kitchen renovation is finally coming to an end and we expect everything to be complete by the end of next week. the process has been long, slow and there's been a few tiny, tiny bumps along the way but overall it has been a pleasant experience and james and i have enjoyed working together  and seeing our vision as an actual reality.

now that i have a functioning kitchen, we are eating at home again and enjoying the last of the summer's fresh fruits and produce, which is a good thing because our waiter at waffle house would see our car pull up and put our order in before we even got to the front door.

the boys grow bigger and smarter each day. evan's vocabulary is bursting and his little personality is really making quite a strong appearance. lane amazes us every day with the amount of knowledge he absorbs and spits back out at us. next week, he will start at a new school - five mornings a week for three hours a day. my mama heart aches just a tad but i know he's going to flourish there.

and me, well, when i haven't been taking care of the boys and taking advantage of getting to be a kid again, i've been taking care of myself. in june, i took part in a 24 day challenge: eliminating sugars, dairy and processed foods from my diet. and while i did have quite a few cheat moments, come on i love candy and frozen yogurt, i did learn a lot about my eating habits. while i was eating healthy, i wasn't eating the foods that were healthy for me - and i was just eating too much of them. feeling great from my challenge, and enjoying the 8 pounds i dropped, i decided to challenge myself even more in july.

i virtually gathered with a group of girls i've never met, and challenged myself to run, walk or jog 45 miles in the month of july. ya'all, i've never been a runner. i've tried. i've failed. i've run alone. with friends. on the treadmill. outside. i've tried couch to 5k - twice - and never made it pass week 3. but this time, i did it. i started out small and on the last day of july, i ran for 23 solid minutes without stopping. i even ended with a little more than 45 miles. that penny i found on one of my first runs sure was good luck.

i've enjoyed running so much - and seeing some changes in my body where change was needed and 2 more pounds dropping - that i am starting right at it for august. this month, the group is going for 42 miles, but many of us from last month have our sights on 50 miles. and, i'm also personally challenging myself to at least 15 hours of yoga or pilates in addition to the miles.

and i can't forget our summer fun list. of course we put together another one this year and we've been slowly and steadily marking items off our list.

because we heart summer.

the breakfast bandit.

evan's so silly. no matter what we eat for breakfast, or how much breakfast he eats, he always finds his way to lane's leftovers for a little post-breakfast snack.

the breakfast bandit strikes again.

wordless wednesday.

dropping in for a quick hello.

just dropping in for a quick hello. i know things have been silent around here lately. but to say things have been hectic for us would be a huge understatement. the kitchen renovation lingers on. we now have a window where a wall used to be. walls where rooms used to be. and a huge opening where a a counter, sink and dishwasher used to be. as of tonight, we should have hardwood floors where the old laundry room linoleum used to be.

our house is a wreck, and i've kind of given up on keeping any kind of organization to it. i do laundry on an as needed basis and we eat out a bunch.

during the day, the boys and i avoid the house so the guys can work. this means we spend a lot of time at the gym, pool, target, james' office and any where else kind of cool.

my boys - they are champs. like seriously, i think james and i love them even more now than we did before. if that was even possible.

they nap in the car. or in the house while floors are being laid and plumbing being installed. (they get their sleeping abilities from us druckers. seriously, we can sleep through any thing.

they let me drag them around all day long.

they eat whatever we can pull together on days we can't stand one more restaurant meal.

and i'm not kidding when i say that once our kitchen is complete this family will not be going any where for a very long time.

unless it is the beach.

i hope everyone has a lovely fourth. wherever you might be spending it. be safe.

keep your fingers crossed for us. rumor has it cabinets get installed on monday.

lovely little life.

 i admit, i haven't been making my kids spend their entire summer in the backyard. we have been going to the pool most week nights and went back to red top beach last weekend. i'm not sure why, but evan loved it. it could have something to do with not being so tired. or maybe it was because i slathered him in sunscreen before we left the house. or, more than likely, it was because his papa was with him.

whatever it was, the boys had a blast.

any time anyone wants to join us for an early morning, before it gets too crowded, meet-up at red top beach, let me know.

we are in.

 in summer learning news, my mom gave lane an activity book for kindergartners a few weeks ago. there's lots of pages full of all of his favorite things to do - tracing letters, drawing shapes, counting objects. and, what he isn't quite old enough to grasp yet, i just modify for him (without him even knowing).

most mornings, before breakfast, he'll ask for a page in his book and i'll set him up with a marker and and some sunshine.

he constantly amazes me.

 last week, lane found an empty box in the dining room and started playing cars around it. he informed me it was dixie speedway - and bam, just like that, i had a great idea. i cut open the box. pulled some instant oatmeal out of its box, found an almost empty box of cereal. and set out to help him create his own dixie speedway. 

 first, we needed a place for people to sit. then we needed a pit stop. then a concession stand. we continued to add on for a few days, including a track drawn by lane and a girl cut from one of my catalogs singing our national anthem.

lane came up with the design. i cut and taped. evan constantly destroyed his brother's hard work.

it gave all three of us something to play with and work on for a few days. 

 last friday night, james had to run up to the office before bed time. so, all of us went with him and stopped at dairy queen on our way there. we parked in the back of the office complex. the boys ate their ice creams while james and i enjoyed our shakes. all of us looked for dear and bunnies.

lane soon tired of looking for bunnies and decided he would much rather look at himself. i caught him happily licking away at his ice cream cone while watching his own reflection in the truck's bumper.

of course, last sunday was father's day. we lazed around the house all morning. the boys and i went to the gym in the early afternoon - giving james some much needed at home alone time. and then we spoiled him with  scooby doo cupcakes on the back deck. as a special treat, lane and evan stuck their fingers in to each cupcake and ate just the icing off more than half of them.

we sure do love that guy.

the best seat in the house.

the green grass is nice, but the best spot in the backyard has to be our red adirondack chair. it has always been a sought after chair on the back deck but now it is THE SPOT TO BE. i spotted that yellow cushion at a treasure store in downtown on my way to the office a month or so ago and rushed in to get it before anyone else could.

it is bright yellow. big. and cushy. just what our red chair needed.

i didn't realize how much time we spent in that chair until i started looking through my instagram feed. apparently, each one of us makes our way to that chair at least once a day. i'm going to venture out and say it might be the most photographed chair in the june photo challenge i signed on to do this month.

it is just right for reading, watching the boys play in the yard, munching on an afternoon snack or just monkeying around.

wordless wednesday.

our beautiful backyard.

 have i ever told all of you that james has a slightly unhealthy relationship with our backyard? i'm not kidding. this place was a mess when we moved here more than five years ago. the grass in the backyard was so high and unkept that james couldn't even use a mower to cut it down. he had to use a machete in certain places. for two years after moving in, we would find random items that did not belong to us that would somehow float to the surface of our backyard.

for a few years, james dealt with it and did the best he could to clean it up on his own. then, when i was pregnant with lane, he went crazy with the nesting and took a bulldozer to the backyard. it has only gotten worse since then. he's planted grass. he's watered. he's laid sod in certain spots. nothing worked.

this year, he killed all of our grass. all of it. for weeks, i was left with what you see above. dirt.

dirt in my backyard. dirt in my house. dirt on my dogs. dirt on my boys. dirt on my furniture.

i cleaned on and remained calm. (or at least tried to remain calm.)

then, the landscapers came. they leveled. they raked up rocks. they laid sod and placed pinestraw.

they made my backyard a lovely little space where our dogs run and our boys play all day long.

 and, i get to spend my afternoons lounged on our back deck reading books, eating yummy food and watching the boys throw balls, play cars and run through the sprinkler.

not all it is cracked up to be.

i'm sure each and every mama has wished for, at least once, someone to prepare all her family's meals for her. I'm here to tell you that isn't all it is cracked up to be.

i'm going on week three of no kitchen. well, that's not entirely true, I have a small space of countertop, a sink and a refrigerator. no stove. no microwave. no cabinets. no dishes in my kitchen. i do have a table and chairs and half of my floors.

needless to say, i have had to get creative. the boys eat cold cereal for breakfast. papa eats his at work. i usually eat a protein bar on our way to wherever we are going that morning. lunch consists of whatever I can pull from the fridge - sandwich meat, fruit, purchased hard boiled eggs and cheese. we find ourselves out for dinner most nights. although, i started to get creative with the grill, and last week, i rummaged through boxes until i found my crock pot.

i've been promised that progress will be made on the kitchen this week, and that i will have cabinets in two to three weeks. i know it is going to be worth it in the end. i just can't wait.

in the meantime, with my house out of sorts, we've been spending a lot of time in our beautiful backyard. so, this week, i bring you the week of posts featuring our backyard.

enjoy.

wordless wednesday

lovely little life.

 most afternoons, we all start to get antsy if james hasn't arrived home by five. last week, the boys couldn't sit still or focus on one task or toy so i pulled out the markers, which had been put away a few months ago.

once james arrived home, i escaped upstairs to shower and have a few minutes to myself. when i got back downstairs, the boys were covered in ink.

i figured out why they get so excited when papa's in charge.

and remembered why i put the markers had been put up.

 i admit, there's quite a few things i do as a parent that i swore i would never do before i was a parent. for example, let my kids eat fast food and play with my cell phone in public.

then, there's things i do that just plain out shock me - and make me laugh - like buy tank tops, otherwise known as wife beaters around here, then dress my 18 month old in one and take him to a sports bar for dinner.

 as the mama of two boys, i often get asked if we will go for a third and try to "get that girl." at this point, i'm a boy mama. loud, tough, non-stop action is what i'm used to.

however, i am enjoying hanging out with my little friend ari. her mom is a friend and has moved in to the neighborhood. ari's been stopping by to hang with the boys occasionally. last week, while the boys were napping, she came over so her mom could get some work done.

we baked sugar cookies, did spin art, made bead necklaces and decorated the sugar cookies. for two hours, she hung out in my kitchen and quietly kept herself occupied.

now, when people ask if i want a girl, i have an answer. i'm pretty sure a baby girl would get lost in the chaos around here.

 saturday morning, the boys and i went with ari and her mom to red top mountain. we've been there countless times but just discovered a new jewel - the beach at red top mountain. lane had no idea it was just a snippet of the old dirty lake and some man-placed sand. he ran to that water so fast and declared the day a success before our adventure even started.

evan, on the other hand, enjoyed himself for about 30 minutes - until he got tired, hot and sticky with sand. while lane spent two hours swimming, splashing, and scooping sand, evan spent that time in my lap.

 saturday evening, my parents came over to hang with the boys so james and i could go out for an anniversary dinner. as soon as we sat down at our very tiny table, we heard the couple beside us. the slightly intoxicated woman was insisting on a fight with her significant other. we heard voices raises, hands slammed and a few naughty words.

most couples might be upset to share their anniversary dinner with someone like that. not us. as soon as they left, james and i both got giddy. we felt like the luckiest couple in the world to get to see something that silly.


there's a lot i could say about my husband and our marriage but i'll keep it simple. we just get each other. 
we've been married for 7 years. i feel  lucky to have him every single day. he's an accomplished man with lots to be proud of but if he ever doubts his self worth i hope he knows that his love changed me and made my life better in every way. for that i am forever grateful.

and, last but definitely not least, we are knee deep in our kitchen remodel. my stove, microwave and counters and cabinets are gone. half the floor has to be replaced. all of the items that normally belong in a kitchen are packed in boxes in our dining room. there's been lots of paper plates and take out. so, if things are quiet on the blog for a while just know it is because things are kind of crazy here.

it is a mess right now but i know it is going to be just lovely when it is complete.

big boy.

 

evan's itching to be a big boy - to do all the things his big brother does. he refuses a booster seat. pitches a fit to drink from an open cup.

don't get me wrong. i think it is wonderful that he growing up.

it is just hard to take him seriously when he's had that balloon tied around his waist all afternoon.

wordless wednesday.

my little leftie.

lane's a leftie all the way. some of his leftie personality traits come from the fact that he's left handed, and he's just wired to work that way. other traits come genetically. his papa's a number lover. a thinker. an organizer. a practical type of person.

i know these things, and there's some things about lane that will always be no matter how much time he spends with me.

when his friends started drawing those little stick people that little people draw, and all mamas must love, i waited for lane's to arrive. i couldn't wait to hang them all over my home and put them away in his baby book.

months passed, and as many times as i drew his friends, with appropriate hair, outfits and something symbolizing who each was, lane kept on drawing his favorite thing to draw: maps.

he draws maps indicating intricate (in his mind) roads, maps of dixie speedway, maps of monster jam tracks and maps of the zoo, gardens and some of the other places we visit. he always very patiently, and enthusiastically, explains each map to me.

and as much as i hate maps and can't read one to save my life, i'm awfully proud of those maps.

this map, the one above, is now proudly hanging in lane's room. i'm not sure what kind of map it is, but when he was done drawing it, he pointed to the bottom corner and told me, "see, mama, see this person."

i did, and my heart skipped a beat. his first stick figure.

he then went on to tell me, "mama, this person is in the bottom of my map because he's telling everyone where to go."

lane certainly is my little leftie.

he comes by it honest.

just the two of us.

i love spending my days with both of my boys. however, sometimes, it is nice to get some one-on-one time with each of them. especially evan, who seems to get the short end of the stick when it comes to alone time with mama. most of the time, when it is just the two of us, we are busy running errands, cleaning the house or doing one of the chores that is much easier to get done when i'm with just one child.

lucky for me, evan has my go-with-the-flow, have fun no matter what we're doing kind of personality. i can't always take him for frozen yogurt dates or to the playground to hang with just me, but when it is just the two of us, we are usually having fun.

even when we have to make a quick target run to pick up sunscreen, toilet paper and almond milk.

if i haven't told ya'all about a million times already, i just love this baby. he's so stinkin' cool.

lovely little life.

last weekend, james took the boys to the grocery store to pick up some breakfast items. that morning, i realized why they always behave so well for him at the store: they go right to the junk food and buy all the sugary, mama-never-lets-us get cereals. they came home and ate lucky charms for a week worth of mornings. now, it is back to cheerios and fruit for breakfast.

i'm a mean, mean mama.

we missed mother's day with my mom this year, so a week later, we met her at the botanical gardens. we could not have asked for a better day. the lilly pond was in full bloom and full of goldfish, bullfrogs and tadpoles. the whole place was full of puffy hydrangeas, and lane even stopped for a second to kiss me among my favorite flowers. evan played in the splash pad for the first time and loved it. and, as always, lane insisted we stop for a quick photo with the thinking frog before leaving.

most of the time, evan looks so much like james to me. lately, however, people have been stopping me when we are out and commenting on facebook about how he looks like me. i couldn't quite figure it out. then i saw these two photos at the same time and came to the conclusion that he only looks like me when he's eating. must be something about those chubby cheeks and squinted eyes: my two least favorite features on myself. funny, i think they are just charming on him.

a dream come true.

i imagine, for a little boy, it must be hard to drift in to dreams when a bulldozer is in your own front yard. so i let evan stay up a little past his normal nap time to stare out the window.

every once in a while dreams do come true.

i don't know how to stop them.

for some reason, my boys want to grow up a little too fast for my liking.

lane's new favorite question, which he asks multiple times a day, is when i am four can i do ..... . he already insists on showering alone, being the line leader, opening the car door on his side, and going into (safe) public restrooms by himself.

whenever he asks for something a little out of his grasp, and i tell him no, he will once again ask, "well, when i am four can i .....? yes, i remind him. but lets just stay three awhile. then i'll tell him that he's growing up way too fast. and he will respond with, "you just don't know how to stop me."

it is the truth. i don't.

i've been putting all my baby eggs in evan's basket for the past 17 months. if lane insists on growing, well, at least i have another baby to love on. except, now that he's toddling, instead of being a baby, evan's insisting on growing up too.

he's given up the high chair. he insists on drinking out of open cups. he copies his brother in the potty by standing in front of the toilet and pulling up his shirt so he can "go" too.  he even bullied his way into gym class.


at first glance, i looked at that top photo of evan watching lane at gym class monday morning and thought it was lane. it reminded me of a picture i'd taken of him a few weeks before.

then i realized it was evan. lane's hair cut is just a tad different.

my boys just keep growing up. and i don't know how to stop them.

a girl's best friend.

a few weeks ago, i rushed upstairs during the boys' naptime to find a good book to read. i grabbed one of  off the shelf. situated on my side of the bed, with my dark chocolate m&m's and a glass of san pellegrino by my side, i was ready to get lost in one of my favorite books. the red tent.

for some reason, i had been thinking about that book all day long - even though it had been 10 years since i last read it. propped up on my pillows, i had two full hours with nothing to do but read.

as i always do when i first start a book, i opened it to the very first page. there, on the top left corner were two tiny initials inked in shaky handwriting. even though they were not penned in her usual fancy, well thought-out script, i knew just who wrote them there.

my best friend.

more than nine years ago, just weeks before she passed away, i let my mommom, my dad's mom, helen, borrow my book. i knew she would love it because i loved it. almost all of our interests were the same: novels, music, art, clothing, movies, food and magazines.

we both loved to get dressed up and eat at the beach. or to wear our floppy sunhats and ride in my convertible to mcdonalds for a cheap hot fudge sundae. we loved to stay up late talking and get up early to start our day with quiet reflection time.

before she passed, she promised she would always be with me, and that i would always have her by my side whenever i needed her. not a day goes by that i don't miss her. however, she was right. whenever i have needed her, i've always felt she was there.

that afternoon, she must have needed me. instead of reading my book, i spent two hours thinking of her. remembering our times together. smiling as i thought about her. i like to think sending me to that book was her way of sending me her love.

for a few days after that afternoon, i couldn't shake the feeling that something just wasn't right. i felt like something was missing. then it came to me: my necklace. the diamond i've worn around my neck since helen passed. the same diamond she wore around her neck for more than 20 years.

late last summer, evan yanked on the chain, and i watched my necklace slide off my neck into a bouncy house. i panicked. the thought of losing my necklace frightened me. instead of getting it fixed, i put it away, safe from little baby hands.

two weeks ago, i took my necklace in to be fixed, and i've been wearing it around my neck ever since. every time i see it flash in a mirror, i smile.

diamonds are, after all, a girl's best friend. 

having mine around my neck is kind of like having my best friend close to my heart.

life with lane.

"mama", he said so sweetly the other morning.

"yes lane," i replied. ready to answer one of his many questions.

"is this my right foot," he asked as he put on his flip flop.

"it sure is," i assured him.

"is this my left foot," he continued.

"that's correct," is said so proudly.

"then where is my straight foot," he said with a concerned look on his face.

"your straight foot," i asked confused.

"you know," he went on, "you turn left. you turn right. you go straight. so where is my straight foot?"

 

lovely little life.

it might not earn us the parent of the year award, but we finally found the perfect way to get rid of some energy during all these spring showers. couch jumping. pull the mattress from the basement guest bedroom in to the basement living room and the boys will keep themselves busy for hours.

lane took his first official yoga class at a real yoga studio downtown. i expected 30 minutes worth of yoga before he got bored. james gave him 15 minutes. the boy lasted an entire hour - and didn't want to leave the studio when the class was done. he was so proud. so was i.

phase one of the kitchen remodel is (almost) complete. the laundry room has been relocated to the old hall closet. james and i decided to go with front loader washer and dryers stacked on top of each other. james surprised me with the deluxe red version. i'm not sure who likes them more. me or the boys.

my little babe is in full on toddler mode. he's 16 months old now. and in to everything. to be honest, i had kind of forgotten about this stage. it is a good thing he's so cute.

my favorite kind of gifts are those that last a lifetime. rather than fresh cut flowers for mother's day, the boys got me three karl rosenfield peony plants. one from each of them. then they planted them in the yard for me. i'm keeping my fingers crossed i will have some beautiful red peonies to cut and keep on my kitchen table this summer - and for many, many more summers to come.

these little men of mine.

these little men of mine sure are lots of work. they make lots of messes. they make me nuts at least once a day. they make me work harder than i've ever worked at any full-time job.

these little men of mine make me a better person. they make me look at life in a different light. they make me smile every day. all day. even when they are making big messes.

these little men of mine make me do things i never thought i would do. like go to dixie speedway on a saturday night. and love it - just because they love it so much.

these little men of mine send me to bed exhausted every single night. then they make me miss them once the house is quiet and james and i reflect on the day and all the wonderful things they did and said that day.

these little men of mine make the days, weeks, months and years move so quickly. these little men of mine make me cherish every moment of every day. because before i know it these little men of mine won't be so little any more. 

these little men of mine make me grateful for the years i waited for them. they make me realize that i wasn't ready just yet to be a mama. they make me see that i was waiting for them. and, if i had not waited, i wouldn't have the exact boys i have today.

these little men of mine make me proud. proud of them. and proud of myself.

these little men of mine make my life so lovely.

i hope everyone had a wonderful mother's day.

all his little lines.

i've written many times before about lane's lines, as we call them around here. not a day has gone by over the last two years that i haven't found a long line of monster jams or hot wheels arranged neatly across the floor somewhere in my house. i guess i just assumed all little boys precisely arranged their moving vehicles in such an organized manner. 

that's just not the case, as my youngest son is proving. evan much prefers the more typical push, roll and crash method of playing with cars, which is causing my older son much distress.

at night, when i wander the house alone, cleaning up from the day, i'll always smile to myself as i find lane's cars arranged so nicely. no matter how long or short the line. and when the day comes when we pack away his cars, i have to admit, i'll miss all his little lines.

butterflies and babies.

about once a week, james will make a little joke at my expense. we call it the butterflies and babies joke.

it goes like this: i'll be stressing out trying to come up with a plan to get all my workouts in and do all the fun things i want to do with the boys in a week, and james will reply, wow, lana, i wish my life was so complicated. it must be hard to live a life full of butterflies and babies. or, i'll go a little overboard with the target spending one month, and he will remind me that someone in this house works very hard to provide, pay the bills and save for our future by telling me that life is not all just butterflies and babies. (it is his kind way of telling me to cut down on the spending!) or, i'll start daydreaming about adding just one more boy to my lot, and once again, you guessed it, it isn't all just butterflies and babies, lana.

sometimes, i think that's how i portray my life on here too. butterflies and babies. the sun always shines. the boys always play together so nicely. we are always having fun. no one ever yells or loses their cool.

not so much. definitely not today.

lane went to bed way too late. got up way too early. and woke up on the wrong side of the bed. before 10 am, lane had been sent to his room, evan and been hit at least a dozen times, and i was spent.

i yelled at lane. lane yelled at me. i got frustrated with james for no reason. the dogs tracked in mud all over my just cleaned hardwood floors. i kind of wished i could call in and take a personal day.

instead, i put the boys down for early naps and ate a brownie. 

as much as i post pictures of cute little boys standing next to each other glancing out windows, or playing together nicely, or enjoying an evening outside, please know there's plenty of these types of things going on too. less than five minutes after i snapped those pictures of lane and evan staring out the window so contently, i snapped this picture.

the two of them in the backyard, before 8:30 am, getting in a dirt fight because lane wanted the yellow frisbee and evan got it first.

no, it isn't always babies and butterflies.

but it still is a lovely little life.

i am, however, keeping my fingers crossed that lane wakes up in a better mood and am sticking to that 8:30 bedtime tonight.